Beijing

BEIJING aka PEKING (NORTHERN CAPITAL) POP: 22 MILLION
JAN 16TH to JAN 26th

Known for palaces, temples, huge stone walls and gates.

They say breathing the air in Beijing is like smoking 70 cigarettes a day. You get that little tickle in your throat whenever you go outside. Thank you coal factories.

After escaping my tormentor in Qingdao, Kenny my homosexual Beijing friend picks me up in a cab. Getting colder.

Things to see and do in Beijing:

Forbidden City:
-Imperial palaces of the Ming and Qing dynasties.
-Served emperors for almost 500 years.
-Built in 1406-1420.
-Covers 7,800,000 square feet.

Tiananmen Square:
-Named after the Gate of Heaven's Pacification
-Largest city square in the world (440,000 meters squared).
-Site of June 4, 1989 protests.










Temple of Heaven:
-Altar of Heaven.
-Complex of Taoist buildings.
-Used by Emperor to pray to Heaven for a good harvest.

Summer Palace:
-Gardens of Nurtured Harmony.
-Home of palaces, gardens and classical architectural styles.

Gate of Heavenly Peace:
-National symbol.
-Entrance to Imperial City.
-Built during Ming dynasty 1420.

Qianmen Quanjude Roast Duck Restaurant:
-aka Peking Duck.
-Chinese National Dish.
-Ducks slaughtered after 65 days.
-Served by the chef himself.









Lama Temple:
-Palace of Peace and Harmony.
-Largest Tibetan Buddhist monastery in the world.




Wangfujing Snack Street:
-Princely Residence Well (after sweet water was found here).
-Famous market.


Hutong Alleyways:
-Traditionally narrow street or alley.

Outside Beijing, The Great Wall of China:
-Stretches 8,158 km
-Actual wall 6,259 km
-Built for protection

THE SCAM:
I heard about this in Shanghai and boy I should have listened, my friend Devin warned me about people who want to practice their English and ask if you want to go out for tea or lunch...

So today as I was leaving The Forbidden City and I met this woman in her 30's and she asked where I was from, yada yada. "Do you know where I can get some Peking Duck?" I ask her, I hear this city is the place and I'm dying to try some. Long story short her friend joins us. I assumed from the toilet) and we begin to walk together.

Friendly ladies, fairly good English

They say they're from out of town and we should all get a bite together. I'm up for new things and meeting new people in strange and exotic places so I think sure why not. I've got a couple of hours to kill until Super Mario returns home. (Kenny was a Mario player)

We go into this little restaurant that doesn't look like a restaurant. We sit in this little booth in the back with this curtain pulled across. It looks like someones house. They've got an English menu so I point out a tofu dish, an eggplant dish and they choose this meatball dish.

They ask if I want beer to drink and I say, nah I'll have some tea. So this woman from the restaurant comes out with these little tea tasters and we try like 10 different kinds. This ones good for your stomach, this ones good for your liver, yada yada, you get the picture.

Our food arrives and we talk about this and that and these ladies really know how to hold a conversation. Apparently they only wanted to stay 4 days, but have to stay for 7, they live 40 hours away by train. yada yada. The foods mediocre.

This is where it gets interesting.

So the meatball dish they order, they thought it was three balls, but it's only one big one, they say i can take it, and they order two more big meatballs, they never come.
The waitress brings out some boxes that hold tea containers and one of the ladies says she's buying one for her mom back home, says her dad prefers to drink alcohol.

I forgot to mention that when we arrived to the restaurant we are seated at the front, but the ladies ask to be moved to the back away from the draft. And there's not another soul in the restaurant.

These ladies are pros.

The bill arrives and the total for some tea sippers and 3 plates of (mediocre) food comes to $2,200 RMB (Chinese Dollars) Let me put this into perspective for you. $100 CDn is about $650 RMB. So all said and done this meal is just under $400 Canadian.

So the T-Dogg forks over his money and leaves the restaurant, the ladies rubbing their claws together with the meat of another victory in their crooked beaks. Wait. The T-Dogg paid? Wh ho ho ho hold on just a second.

So they see the look of disbelief on yours truly's face and they offer a compromise. They say that they are willing to split the bill 3 ways, now of course that brings the T-Doggs portion down to just over $700RMB. Over a $100 (Cdn) beans. Where's Lily when you need her?

Now this is going on and the T-Doggs thinking, don't panic son you've been in worse pickles than this and lived. All you gotta do is BS'em at their own game.

We take cash or credit I hear. Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Diner's Cards, Platinum, the list goes on and on...How much cash do you have? Do you want us to lend you some? nyuk nyuk nyuk. I say well that's all fine and dandy ladies and I would love to clear this matter up as soon as possible. But you see I'm on my daily budget of $100 RMB a day, (16 bucks) that Forbidden City took 40 of that so all the cash I've got left is 60. And I'd hate to shortchange a bunch of sweeties like you, but the only bank I can use is the Bank of China because (she's about to speak up) my card is a special Canadian card. What's the name they ask? It's called a Canada Trust card. What kind of card is it? Can we see it? And they're licking away the froth at the corners of their mouths as I am trying to squeeze pass this woman for I am seriously pigeonholed in this corner.
"I just need to get to that bank machine and I'll sort matters directly."

And I'm waiting for the 500 lb Chinese pimp to jump from behind the curtain at any moment waving his cleaver.

So one of the ladies says she'll go with me, and the other one says she has to stay behind, we can't all run out on the bill after all.

So I'm outside and I can smell freedom. We start walking down the street and I say $700 eh, that seems a bit steep for some tea. And then her cell phone rings and she starts talking to her friend who's back in the restaurant, and they're talking in Chinese about me. Except they don't know I know what she's saying, she picks up pace to get away from me and a young couple passes me. Well she must think it's me accompanying her to the bank machine because she keeps on walking, so the T-Dogg rocks on his heel and crosses the street beelining it for the subway station. He thinks about going down side alleys but then doesn't. And then the little pitter patter of feet from behind.

He's approached and confronted. The T-Dogg shushes her and says matter of factly that he doesn't like being lied to, then he points at her and calls her a liar. and for good measure he throws in that lying isn't nice, cool as a cucumber. She says I (T-Dogg) can go to the police, and I want nothing of the sort. Just that I'm not paying any money. She tells me I ate and I drank and I have to pay. Then I remember the police comment. Pull out a crisp $100 RMB note and before she can wipe the furrow from her brow I'm gone into the shadows.

I hear this happens to travelers routinely and they don't even know they've been taken for a ride, may this be a lesson to all of you.